5 years later
Five years later, Im still the old sadist me. For the update, no I did not become a doctor like how I’ve always wanted to. Im currently doing MSc in Universiti Malaya. Kinda impressive huh? Not for me. Because I know what state Im in. Im clueless, with no passion and empty.
Rereading my old posts, I realised how I was so much brighter back then. Life was hard but I was strong. I didn’t know what happened, but Im so much weaker. Or maybe I’ve just had enough that I can’t bear any more sadness?
Things got out of control when I even had suicidal thoughts. Are things really hard or am I just being dramatic? Or was I being too expecting?
02 October 2021 @ 11:34 PM / 0 daisies
Life
When everything started to be normal again, when sadness finally found their way out, that was when everything fell out of their places again. I sometimes wonder, cant I be happy? cant I enjoy the happiness? Why cant they last?Everything was so good and perfect, that I questioned myself, were these all true? My life was so much better and I finally found my way to forget my sadness, but then, some stranger walked in our life and destroyed everything. Destroyed me, specifically.
Now, Im back to the old me. To the girl that lay on her bed just to let her tears stream down her face. And sometimes, I didnt even realize that I was crying. And sometimes, I became sad for no solid reason. Im just sad, to the fact that I don't deserve love and happiness.
02 October 2016 @ 9:52 AM / 0 daisies
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